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angel, tori, santa

May 2013

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angel, tori, santa

i'm sitting in Spirit Winds enjoying a black bean veggie burger and mango italian soda (no whipped cream). i sat at a table for two and realized the art signs that are hanging next to me:

LIVE LARGE
THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX
DO NOT GIVE UP

how perfect for my first day after quitting work at the spa. that place was bringing me down big-time. i relate it to my relationship with susan . . . verbally and emotionally abusive. thinking about leaving for months, playing it out in your head for months, until one day you finally have the courage and the means to say, "fuck you guys. i'm outta here."

i have a matter of weeks left in las cruces before the move back to pittsburgh (and my honey), and "live large" is exactly what i plan to do. now that means different things to different people. "live large" to me means spending more time with my chosen family, visiting the mountains and farm animals, hanging out at the university (and maybe crashing a class or two) . . . basically anything that's fun and free.

there's another piece of art in front of me that's pink and colorful and says, "a laugh is a smile that bursts." sounds like something nora's daughter, julilee, would say.

i was so tired of being so busy. of driving so much. of being treated like a massage vending machine instead of a human being. i'm ready to go back to office jobs. a place where i can work set days and set hours and know when my free time is. (and not have that free time infringed upon by requests to come in to work.) i love doing bodywork. i'm in love with bodywork. but when it's done as a means of getting rent paid, it becomes mundane. in these last weeks, i will give my friends and colleagues (who have been so kind to work on me for free) tlc bodywork. the kind that doesn't drain me. the kind that is enjoyable. the kind of bodywork that i love to do.

there is a somewhat-large buddha here that's covered in black reflective squares. he looks like a disco buddha. it is too fucking cool.

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